Barbecue time

By smokeymo

In Orc-run, politically correct, environmental aware Britain, clean neighbourhood laws have raked in over £900,000 and provoked widespread discontent because they (the stupid laws) are used to enforce Britain’s new rubbish (garbage) recycling regimes. The high orcs are demanding that elves leave out less rubbish for the dustmen which, in some areas, is now collected once a fortnight instead of every week. They have already started experimenting with spy chips in Britain’s wheelie bins to check the contents.

Figures released by the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, show that 33,033 elves were given fixed penalties last year for “household rubbish littering”, i.e. putting rubbish in the wrong container, leaving it out on the wrong day or filling the bin so that the lid cannot close properly.

According to the Local Government Association, litter-dropping is by the biggest ‘enviro-crime’ local councils have to deal with. And for this, the elves of England pay very high local taxes.

The solution is simple: set fire to the contents of your bin with your trusty cigar, and use the flame and heat to barbecue the local bureaucrats who are giving everybody such a hard time. And then ask for a refund on your local poll tax, for if there is less rubbish to be collected then you are saving the council a lot of money.

Trolls call it recycling.