Risk behaviour! I’ll give you risk behaviour…

By smokeymo

Why do trolls ignore public warnings and advertisements from high elves and orcs about the dangers of smoking, drinking alcohol, overeating, stressing out and otherwise persist in habits and behaviours that we know aren’t good for us?

Because, says a University of Alberta researcher, who apparently made up this list of elvish no-no’s, we aren’t getting at the underlying reasons of why we persist in bad habits or risky behaviour.

Or maybe it’s because some of us are smoking trolls and like to enjoy life, not run away from it, says I, while I kick start my day with a quick sharpener of my favourite malt and fire up a Punch Punch. And all of us trolls hate namby-pamby-I-want-to-save-you-from-yourself-and-get-you-to-join-my-elvish-gang-of-bloodless-politically-correct-twinkletoes.

In two recent case studies asking people to rate the danger of various types of risks including lifestyle habits, it was clear that they understood what types of behaviour are the riskiest, but that knowledge wasn’t enough to motivate them to change their ways, says Dr. Cindy Jardine, an assistant professor of rural sociology at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada.

“The results showed that in fact, people have a very realistic understanding of the various risks in their lives,” added Dr Jardine. “We as risk communicators–scientists, academics, government agencies—have to get beyond the thought of ‘If they only understood the facts, they’d change.’ They do understand the facts, but we need to look at other factors we haven’t been looking at before.”

You got that right, Cindy. Maybe you’re a secret troll. Why don’t you come over to the cave and I’ll pour you a slug of 18 year old Oban and ignite a Montecristo No.2 for you to suck on. Call it research, if you like. Trolls call it fun. And who says all this fun stuff isn’t good for us! It’s the only thing that makes life bearable, when confronted with all you so-called risk communicators. If your less than considerate colleagues ever knock on the door of my cave with a blank questionnaire, I ‘ll slice them up and feed them to the piranha in my finger bowls.

If you believe this, you’ll believe every half-baked statement t

By smokeymo

Lung cancer could be virtually wiped out in Scotland as a result of the smoking ban in public places, according to Scotland’s chief medical officer, Dr Harry Burns, who claims that lung cancer rates would be reduced to just a few hundred cases a year in the future.

However, honourary troll, Neil Rafferty, from the Freedom Organisation for the Right to Enjoy Smoking Tobacco (FOREST), accused Dr Burns of being irresponsible and painting a “…completely misleading picture. The evidence from other countries shows that smoking bans have no significant effect on smoking rates. Secondly, there is no conclusive evidence that lung cancer is caused by second hand smoke.”

Of course, Dr Burns may have neglected to consider Scotland’s notoriously poor diet, which includes Haggis, fried Mars bars, and the lack of interest in anything that resembles fresh vegetables. And there are plenty of other things that cause cancer, but the puritanical orcs tend to conveniently forget all this when making public statements that are basically bollox.

It’s amazing just how many trolls have managed to live to a ripe old age on slabs of fresh bloody meat, regular dollops of fresh veg, gallons of full cream milk, daily bucketfuls of booze, and lungfuls of smoke. And we’ll still be here when the elves pop their healthier-than-thou clogs, just like cigar-a-day George Burns, the American comedian who outlived his anti-smoking doctor by a couple of decades.

Think on this, you miserable elves: Britain has an ageing population, most of whom have eaten, drank and smoked all the wrong things all their life. And all those young elves are dying early cos of today’s crap diet mostly consisting of sugar and white flour which farmers use to fatten pigs.

Light up a good cigar, and get a life, why don’t ya…

Moss Nook restaurant

By smokeymo

Just back from my field trip to my specialist cigars stores in Liverpool and Chester.

Flew from City airport ( very cool) to John Lennon airport ( not so cool!)

Had a splendid evening with friends Rodders and Mano over in Manchester at the Moss Nook award winning restaurant.

International cuisine,excellent wine list,service that I could not fault, comfortable surroundings and great ambience.

Most important,there were no objections to lighting up our Siglo VI’s after the meal.

So bravo for Moss Nook and if you are heading for Manchester it is well worth a visit..

Ringway Road, Moss Nook, Manchester, M22 5NA
Tel: 0161 437 4778

Back to London office on Friday…Michelle is rather pleased with herself as she tells me she has sold out of the wonderful new Cohiba piramides 2006 within 24 hours of being told they would be available by Hunters and Frankau:-)

Hopefully more on the way soon:-)

Best

Mitchell