Into the light of day

By smokeymo

Welcome to the home of the smoking troll. I live in a cave under London and don’t bother with ashtrays; better a carpet of cigar ash than one full of burnt holes. This will be one of the last refuges of London’s cigar smokers after the British Government’s ban next summer – those scheming, grasping, narrow-minded, nicotine-intolerant, hyprocritical, puritanical elves. They can rock off and leave me alone, especially if they’re non-smokers, who have long been banned from my cavernous home – aside from those fat elves that are hanging upside down over the boiling cauldron or from hooks on the walls. Well, a troll has to eat sometime and a stomach full of smoke doesn’t always do it for me.

All smokers are welcome, especially anyone who loves cigars. Just bring an extra cigar for me, unless you’re a tight dwarf, in which case I’ve got a special hook from which you could find yourself dangling over a cleft in the rock and inhaling fumes from the molten lava that I use to ignite my Havanas.